To stay or to quit? That is (not) the question…

I’ve never quit anything in my life.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. I quit my sorority senior year of college. Otherwise, I’ve been with the same man since high school. I’ve been with the same company since college. I spent 7 years playing soccer and violin through grade school when I hated them both. (Ok, that’s a little strong… but I definitely wanted to quit many times!) 

I’ve been asking a lot of questions about quitting lately. 

When is it ok to quit? When is it not? Is it more selfish to quit than selfless to stay? Where’s the line between committing and quitting? Between giving it time and giving up? I’m not sure there are universally right answers to these questions. Rather, like most things, I think these “answers” are more nuanced, contextual, and personal. 

How/is this [something] serving me or others I care about? How is it not? What meaning is there to be made if I stay? If I quit? What feels most aligned with my values, strengths, and curiosities? Personally, I’ve gleaned more insight from asking these questions than the former. 

If I had quit violin or soccer in grade school, I wouldn’t have fully appreciated what it means to show up as a leader for your team and to dedicate yourself to something bigger. If I had quit my high school relationship, I wouldn’t have married my husband. 

There are reasons not to quit something, even when it gets really hard and we may want to. There is value in commitment, in long-term thinking, in sacrifice. And, there are reasons to quit something, sometimes especially when it gets hard and we want to. There is also value in living in true alignment with yourself.

To stay or to quit? That is not the (only) question. Rather, try asking yourself how this [something] is serving you, how it’s making meaning in your life, and how it’s aligning with who you are and how you want to show up… or not. Armed with these insights, you may just find yourself closer to your answer.