Light switch

On paper, 2023 should have been the best year of my life. I got promoted, got married, honeymooned, celebrated other friends’ weddings, babies, and more. And yet, it was the hardest year of my life. I remember days sitting in my therapist’s office, confused and heartbroken by what was happening but equally committed and headstrong to making something of it. 

When things get really hard, it’s natural to turn outward and ask why this is happening to me. It’s less natural, and I’d argue a bit harder, to turn inward and ask why this could be happening for me. In other words, what is [insert really hard thing] trying to teach me? What meaning can I possibly make from this? 

Meaning is one of the core pillars of wellbeing– when we have a strong sense of meaning in our life (in work, in relationship, etc.), we are generally happier and more resilient.

Don’t get me wrong– there were (and still are) plentyyy of therapy sessions when I was in no state to say what I could learn or what meaning I could make in that moment. I was too angry, hurt, lost. Sometimes the room is just too dark to see that light, and that’s ok. But trusting there’s a light switch in the room that, when we’re ready to reach for, it’s there to turn on– to help open our mind to learn and make meaning from whatever really hard thing we’re going through. 

We can’t control the hard things that happen to us, but we can control how we respond– by sitting in the dark room when we need and by turning on the light switch when we’re ready. It doesn't necessarily make the hard thing easier, but it does fill our lives with more meaning.